The power of Pioneer

To truly appreciate the goodness of the Pioneer Woman’s life changing power you have to have a little insight to my dear friend and blogger Jennie Jean. I went to highschool with her, a year younger than her. We didn’t talk. She was a jock and was a not jock . I was just me. Fate brought us together years later as she bought her first home from her pastor who happened to be my neighbor. She added me on myspace to talk and I wasn’t sure because im weird about high school people. When they moved in I was really pleased to find she was so friendly and open and we became fast friends. My daughter Laci was a year younger than her son and a year older than her daughter so they were great for each other. Soon our lives became intertwined and we joked that we lived on a commune sharing dinner duties going to one house one night then the other the next. I soon realized by the deluge of Chinese and pizza delivery cars – Jenn doesn’t cook much. Now we lived in a college town with a pizza joint per person so everyone orders in. It was after several dinner invites that were followed by calls of “ I didn’t thaw anything out “ or “im not cooking , what do you want from Giuseepes” that I realized this chick really didn’t like to cook. I didn’t mind because they ordered in from places I liked but my husband didn’t so it was a treat for me. My all time favorite instance of this went like this. “Hey Mandy are you still coming over for dinner? “ “yeah what time” “Oh about 6, I didn’t thaw anything out. Can you bring over one of those Stouffers your mother in law always stocks your freezer with?” “So you want me to come over for dinner and BRING dinner with me” “yeah do you mind” “ no of course not” Laughter ensues. She brings so much joy. She’s hilarious and of course I didn’t mind bringing our own dinner to her house. I miss those days! In honor of her lack of cooking we found a vinyl wall saying for her second and current house that says something along the lines of “the best thing I make for dinner is reservations” It doesn’t really hold true though. January 2010 Jenn found Pioneer Woman and embarked on a new journey – using her oven. I was amazed at this transformation and decided to try it out and found a newfound love of cooking myself. I’m so thankful for her to pointing the way! Jenn’s transformation to kitchen goddess has had a few bumpy roads. I remember one time when we had gotten together at her house for a real housewives marathon and she was boiling chicken for some recipe of the day on PW. Not wanting to miss a botox filled moment she sat at her couch picking the chicken off the bone. Now I had misgivings about this immediately, not because of my innate fear of chicken carcasses but because also residing in the Porter household is a morbidly obese Golden Lab named Elpahaba who will eat off your plate even as you hold. This dog has nerve. And no table manners. Jenn had gotten up to do something in the kitchen so being untrusting of my furry nemesis (that dog and I have a history) I moved over to guard the chicken. This “big boned” (as jenn defends her girth) pup actually immediately took a swipe at the chicken I yelled No but she kept trying the next thing I know she dives right in! Im screaming at her and pushing at her with my big pregnant feet, unsure of how much force I’m allowed to use without making Jenn mad. Finally she goes away , with a good ¼ of the chicken gone. I take it out to Jenn who says “well did she get this side?” no I say. “well I’ll just use it then”. I wasn’t eating dinner there that night so I didn’t protest. At least it wasn’t take out. I love you Jenn.

Look, I’m going to be upfront from the outset.

I am a disaster in the kitchen.

There I said it.

Do not get the wrong idea. People from all around pine for my chocolate peanut butter cupcakes. Those in fact have caused tension between myself and my lovely blogging partner Miss Jennifer Jean . Her hubby and her dad love them. I believe one birthday she made them for her dad, or perhaps husband, I can’t quite remember. Whoever it was was sad they weren’t mine. (insert maniacal laughter). So the end product is good. The process is a comedy of errors. And the clean up – momentous.

This may be from my bout of ADD . No I have not been formally diagnosed though a seventh grade math teacher thought I needed evaluated. No, Mr Harris. You are just THAT boring.

You see I can’t just sit and read a recipe and replicate it. I get lost in the black and white of the text. Or better yet outside the text. It bores me. My mind begins to wander to thoughts of the day, wondering what the screaming or worse yet – the silence - from the children could mean. And now I have the glorious wonder that is the iPhone 4 . Not only does it carry with it the ability to text rapid fire to my favorite people engaging in endless discussions but it brings the wild wonderful web (that’s www stands for right) right into the palm of my hand.

This is where Pioneer Woman comes in and why her recipes work so well for me. She has beautiful photos of every step of her yummy food even down to a cast of characters of ingredients and the wondrous pink alien hand that delivers the cast of characters to the pots. It helps me to focus- I don’t even have to read if I don’t want to just skim the pictures and in the end – a wonderful dinner for my family.

It has really changed how I view cooking. I get confidence by knowing I can see each step of the process and be able to judge what I did to a visual representation to what its supposed to look like each step of the way instead of holding my breath and praying it all looks right at the end like with traditional recipes. The recipes also give comedic relief with pw quirky analysis of the task at hand, helping break up the monotomy of steps and ingredients.

I need entertained. We live in a world where we have tiny computers in our hands at all times available to access whatever we want basically, its inhumane for me to be expected to read a straight recipe. Pw knows this and delivers.

Now instead of dreading cooking and thinking of it as a task, it has become an adventure. I love planning out our menus for the week and get excited about the whole process.

I have really cut down on our eating out though im not sure if it has made a difference in our bank account because I have to buy a fridge full of heavy cream and butter to complete a weeks worth PW recipes. (The woman is a big fan of dairy. Probably stems from her cow love. )We have cows on our farm too (pic) I told Jenn I could make up that part of the PW blog for us since cow photos are a hallmark of Pioneer Woman. That is Miss Moo.

Also cooking at home has not helped me lose weight. Again I place the blame on the heavy cream and butter. I haven’t gained though so I suppose that’s something right? No? Well I’m counting it.

And did I say disaster? Here is my kitchen when I’m done a single recipe.

(pic)

Idk how it happens it just does.